8 valuable tips to avoid a divorce and strengthen a marriage
12 Oct, 2018
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Communicating with your partner, respect and admiration, overcome problems and dedicate time to each other are just a few of the things that lead to a successful marriage that can spare you from divorce. [Related topic: divorce mediator in white plains ny]
Communication with your couple is an essential preventive factor, what you don’t communicate doesn’t get shared, and what is not shared creates distance sometimes unfixable, and can end by taking down and dissolving any relationship, till each one of them became a stranger for each other.
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Silence and lack of communication are the biggest enemies of relationships. It’s not crazy that the 82% of married women consider lack of communication as the most frequent and first of their couples problem.
Respecting and admiring your couple are fundamental too as factors of resistance of the couples conflicts. For a conflict to emerge between the couple there must be a lack of admiration between them. When this mutual admiration gets extinguished, the loss of respect, at first just gestual and verbal are close.
This inicial loss of verbal respect can be prolonged in some occasions, is just enough to be a little more irritable for a moment to lose their nerves ,causing the loss of physical respect, better know as domestic violence.
It is very unlikely that a couple will go through a crisis if the admiration and mutual respect are preserved and improved through the years. Don’t go away from the difficulties, and don’t insist in the differences, to try to resolve problems the first thing to do is to identify them and after that face them.
If the difficulties or differences get silenced, what was small will get bigger with time, and can be the flame that ignites a further crisis. The coexistence consist in good part of learning to resolve with success and together the small daily conflicts.
The differences between men and women are undeletable, that’s why is in bad taste to insist in them in any time. The differential facts that singularize each one of you are there for a good reason: to complement each other and to help grow and enrich each other. The respect for these differences constitutes an excellent opportunity for both of the individuals in the couple to know better each other.
It’s essential to dedicate time, patience and kindness to your partner, love takes time, attention and vigilant dedication. People that love each other, need to have the necessary patience, the same as a patience that needs a little kid that’s been raised.
If this conditions are set, the tenderness ends rising and invading the other intimacy, and that’s where the complains will end, the tenderness is the objective demonstration of that love, a silent scream more powerful than any word. Making an effort to have a more active and enjoyable sex life : sex is necessary in the life of the couple. Is not the first of course, but it is one of the conditions that define the couple or the marriage.
Sexuality can suppose an effort if in the marriage each one of the couples parts forget about themselves and just think about the satisfaction of the other one. In this the reciprocal donation is valid and it shouldn’t be omitted or frustrated. It’s still frequent that the couple uses sexuality to resolve other conflicts, or even to deny conflicts and extending the problems that are located in other ambits of the couple which content is very different.
The right thing to do, is to resolve each problem in their corresponding area, without letting space for retaliation in other ambits. Establish and respect the necessary ambit of personal liberty or space: that men and woman became one does not have to be taken literally.
In marriage, of course you are one, but at the same time you preserve your individual integrity and differences of each other personalities. As a consequence, it is precise to establish what’s the necessary ambit of space that each other need.
In the profesional escenario, this is an ethic demand that shouldn’t be imposed. Having a flexible and balanced task schedule: the qualities of each one in the couple, their own singularity and efficiency that comes from the division of work demands that this functions should be splitted between them.
The logical thing is that the most skilled for a task should be the one who does it more easily.
It’s not about letting the other do all the least enjoyable tasks, it’s about being more practical and productive with those tasks.
The couple is not made to subtract, but for add, to multiply before dividing, to have in mind more of the things that unite them than the things that can separate them. In some sense, husband and wife make equal parts of a whole enterprise, in which are not lines that divide tasks or responsibilities, everything is for the both of them. Here both are co-responsible, co-existent and partners in everything that can happen to both of them.
Boost the complicity: the tissue of the couple itself is against the misunderstanding and the feeling of solitude. The couple is company, absence of solitude, comunion. It’s not unusual to see couples that possibly care a lot about each other and they are really balanced, but sometimes they lack of something, they are husband and wife, excellent parents but they’re not partners, the life of one is not being the inseparable company of the other’s life
In this cases, this generosity is essential to open that intimacy, which can be a hard thing to do.
When both turn to end up being partners, good partners, the gift of intimacy gets overboard and this vital joy emerges, that cannot be hide between the ones that feel complicity between each other and they really are also partners in their own, illusions, desires, expectations, fantasies, feelings, projects and memories.
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