The Importance of Healthy Conflict in a Romantic Relationship

14 Jun, 2018

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When people are experiencing problems in their relationship with a romantic partner, things can escalate quite quickly and lead to a rushed decision such as filing divorce. While every couple runs to disagreements every now and then, and for some the impasses might be more abundant than for others, the truth is that these conflicts are not always bad –as this can help a couple grow- and, in fact, healthy conflict is a necessary part of sharing your life with a partner. (Related topics: divorce mediation attorneys near me)

 


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But what is a healthy conflict? Well, there’s a difference between picking up a fight with your partner over something “silly” such as leaving the car keys by the kitchen instead of by the corridor, and actually reaching a point of disagreement because your partner is not being considered enough to try and make your life easier by following through with simple household organization rules.

There’s no such thing as a silly argument or a “stupid” complaint. When there’s trouble in paradise –especially if the couple is or was in love at some point- the underlying cause of the fights are deeper than just a case of forgetfulness, a social faux pas or a moment of outburst after a bad day. However, it is no secret to anyone that everyday life in and outside the home can be stressful to anyone and this stress can take toll in your relationship, even more when combined with other issues and the things that build up during your daily routine.

Conflict is a natural part of our existence as individuals and, therefore, it is also present in our lives as partners in a relationship. The problem is not the conflict itself but rather the way in which we approach, manage and resolve said conflict. Healthy conflict is the one that poses as struggle that you and your partner have to work on together in order to grow individually and improve as a couple.

Nevertheless, to overcome the superficial stage of conflict in which you’re only playing the blaming game, pointing fingers at each other and diving into a fight you don’t even entirely understand, take a step back and look for a healthy way to confront each other and work out your differences through a healthy conflict.

Sit down and take a deep breath after you’re both calm; organize your ideas and explain to each other with honesty, full transparency and kindness what’s bothering you and what you need to solve the problem you particularly have. Look for the root of the problem and ask yourselves and each other if it can be solved and lay out the steps that need to be taken in order to solve it. If you find it too difficult doing it all by yourselves, request the help of a professional on the subject.

In no time, you’ll look back and realize how far you’ve come. Just a word of warning, healthy conflict doesn’t mean that you won’t argue with your partner anymore or even that you will decide to stay together, healthy conflict is about overcoming the personal challenges of each individual and ensure that you can grow as a couple and as human beings whether you decide to remain together or not.

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