On the road to divorce, some couples realize thereÔÇÖs still hope for their marriage and before they make the decision to end things for good, they often seek advice from friends, family, therapists and attorneys. However, there are a few pieces of advice, not even professionals in the field seem to be able to agree, which is why you may want to take these with a grain of salt. [Related topic: divorce mediator white plains ny]
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ÔÇó Going against cultural norms
While some therapists stick to working within certain communities to avoid the challenges of different cultural structures and rules, others make the case that not challenging the cultural norm may be endangering the relationship or getting in the way of successful conflict resolution.
ÔÇó Going to sleep angry
It is a widespread concept that going to bed angry at your partner is terrible for the relationship. However, whether or not couples should go to sleep angry is still a major point of debate.
While some experts see it as losing the battle or giving up on fixing the issue, others consider itÔÇÖs the best choice as it will provide both parties to think things through and analyze things calmly once the animosity of the argument has worn off.
ÔÇó Digging deep
While some therapists focus on giving advice, others prefer the analytical approach and whereas one school of thought advocates for you and your partner digging deep into your issues, the other will prompt you to move right past that.
Some say this in-depth exploration engenders rumination and repetitive thinking instead of pursuing an action-oriented approach that helps the couple advance towards a solution to the problem.
ÔÇó Learning to compromise
For many marriage counselors, the concept of learning how to compromise with your partner is a big no-no as it denotes giving instead of working on understanding each other, developing compassion for their partner, and organically feel compelled to change.
However, for many others, it is of utmost importance to decide whether you want to compromise or not early on because the lack of willingness to make changes in the benefit of your partner may end up damaging the relationship.
ÔÇó Temporary separation
Therapists often disagree on whether couples should stay together during periods of intense conflict, and advice against or in favor of separation even if only temporary is particularly sensitive.
ÔÇó Going after your partner in court
According to some therapists going after your partner in court, denouncing abuse or taking strong steps towards independence in a legal context will hurt the victim further. Nevertheless, many other therapists agree that not doing so can be extremely detrimental and disempowering.